A Poetic Parody

Staying incredulous in a time of blind belief...

15 February 1983
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Oh, I so hate doing these biographies. Look, I'm a boring, uninteresting person. Reading this journal will most likely be a waste of your time, and may cause brain shrinkage.

I was a military brat and I've lived just about everywhere, though nowhere worth mentioning. I suffered through four years of high school before moving to Arizona for college. Three years ago, I was two classes away from graduating with a Bachelors in Liberal Arts (English Major), but couldn't force myself to finish. One of my goals this year is to rectify that mistake.

I work at a veterinary clinic, and I have more animals than I care to mention. They're the bane of my life. They hog the bed. They are expensive to feed. And yet, I usually end up either fostering pups or providing hospice care for old cats on a regular basis. May I be a living warning to you all, and the dangers of taking in life-sucking diabolical creatures in small, cute packages.

I'm single, and I like it that way; guys are more work than pets. Now, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a leisurely peek at porn or a smutty story, I just prefer enoying boys from afar. I can keep groceries in the house that way, and personal emotional drama to a minimum. If only someone would explain to the male gender that a late morning quickie on the couch is as much close personal contact as I need on my weekends. I don't need to sit and cuddle while they watch the football game on TV. They should feel free to yell profanity at the little people on the screen while I go to the book store all afternoon, is all I'm sayin'.

Being single, I have a big ole house to myself where I happily cloister myself most of the time. I have BIG comfy couches. So if you're on my f-list and are planning to spend some time in Southern Arizona or are passing through Tucson, please note that I have an open couch policy. All you need to do is let me know a few days in advance, and I'll pick up all my dirty clothes, hide the porn, and push the animals off the furniture for you.

I'm more liberal than thou. I keep up to date on political issues great and small, but I'm not really interested in discussing politics with any amount of seriousness. I'm a pessimist, and finding like-minded people who think the American government needs a swift kick in the ass make me feel nervous: they might want me to help them DO something about enacting change, see. And I'm just too jaded to want to be drawn into that.

I love science fiction, and as that is the subject to which I prefer devoting my spare time and income, I'll most likely have many long and rambling posts about movies, books, and television shows I'm currently watching/reading/stealing from the internet. I occasionally write my own fiction, though I try to fight the urge. If some of it happens to escape the confines of my desktop and wander onto LiveJournal, I apologise in advance.

And if there was any doubt:

NerdTests.com says I'm a Nerd God.  What are you?  Click here!

I lost my brother this year. He was 22. I don't want to discuss this beyond what's written here; I'm still adjusting to being an only child. I miss him.

Finally and most importantly, it should be noted that this journal is not here to be an introspective look deep into my soul. I'm on LJ because I work hard, I'm too poor to go out very often, and I need some way to blow off steam. I get enough of the real world...well...in the real world.

This free music thingie is made of awesome:

And remember, kids:
Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Learn lots, and be evil!

No, really. They'll pay you. And it won't virus up your computer, or anything.

28 days later, 42, alice in wonderland, alternative media, anime, art, arthur miller, bbc, beowulf, birds, bits of fluff, blinky things, broccoli, browncoats, caffeine, cake or death, canadians, carl sagan, casablanca, chaos, chaucer, cheese, chickens, children of men, cillian murphy, classic literature, classic rock, cooking babies, corporate responsibility, cowboy bebop, criollos, damien rice, december 21 2012, dennis kucinich, desert, documentaires, dogs, douglas adams, drawing, earthships, eddie izzard, edward gorey, einstein, endurance, england, evil ducks, fight club, fingolfin, firefly, foodies, frank sinatra, free speech, freedom of expression, frottage, gardening, gerard butler, graphic design, gundam wing, hamlet, harlan ellison, harry potter, heath ledger, hiking, horses, house, hugh laurie, humphrey bogart, ingrid bergman, ireland, italy, jon stewart, killing george bush, kumquats, kyle reese, lamp posts, lawrence of arabia, liberals, lion in winter, lord of the rings, lotr, making baby jesus cry, margaret atwood, mars, medieval history, michael moore, music, new orleans, obscure movie quotes, occam's razor, paint shop pro, pan's labyrinth, parrots, paul bettany, peridot, pet rescue, pete wisdom, photography, pit bulls, post apocalyptic fiction, quentin tarantino, reading, really good bread, renaissance faires, reservoir dogs, rilo kiley, rodney mckay, ruling the world, schnitzel with noodles, sci fi, sci-fi, scotland, shakespeare, shiny things, sim city, sirius black, skittles, slash, snogging, snow, spanish mustangs, spoon, stargate, string theory, supernatural, tea, technology, the fisher king, the goblin king, the great escape, the master and margarita, the matrix, the meaning of life, the winchester brothers, the x-files, tim burton, toe socks, tolkien, travel, underground houses, very small rocks, vikings, warm woolen mittens, wga, whiskers on kittens, wincest, wolves, writers strike, zeitgeist, zombie movies, π