A Poetic Parody

Oh, I so hate doing these biographies. Look, I'm a boring, uninteresting person. Reading this journal will most likely be a waste of your time, and may cause brain shrinkage.

I was a military brat and I've lived just about everywhere, though nowhere worth mentioning. I suffered through four years of high school before moving to Arizona for college. Three years ago, I was two classes away from graduating with a Bachelors in Liberal Arts (English Major), but couldn't force myself to finish. One of my goals this year is to rectify that mistake.

I work at a veterinary clinic, and I have more animals than I care to mention. They're the bane of my life. They hog the bed. They are expensive to feed. And yet, I usually end up either fostering pups or providing hospice care for old cats on a regular basis. May I be a living warning to you all, and the dangers of taking in life-sucking diabolical creatures in small, cute packages.

I'm single, and I like it that way; guys are more work than pets. Now, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a leisurely peek at porn or a smutty story, I just prefer enoying boys from afar. I can keep groceries in the house that way, and personal emotional drama to a minimum. If only someone would explain to the male gender that a late morning quickie on the couch is as much close personal contact as I need on my weekends. I don't need to sit and cuddle while they watch the football game on TV. They should feel free to yell profanity at the little people on the screen while I go to the book store all afternoon, is all I'm sayin'.

Being single, I have a big ole house to myself where I happily cloister myself most of the time. I have BIG comfy couches. So if you're on my f-list and are planning to spend some time in Southern Arizona or are passing through Tucson, please note that I have an open couch policy. All you need to do is let me know a few days in advance, and I'll pick up all my dirty clothes, hide the porn, and push the animals off the furniture for you.

I'm more liberal than thou. I keep up to date on political issues great and small, but I'm not really interested in discussing politics with any amount of seriousness. I'm a pessimist, and finding like-minded people who think the American government needs a swift kick in the ass make me feel nervous: they might want me to help them DO something about enacting change, see. And I'm just too jaded to want to be drawn into that.

I love science fiction, and as that is the subject to which I prefer devoting my spare time and income, I'll most likely have many long and rambling posts about movies, books, and television shows I'm currently watching/reading/stealing from the internet. I occasionally write my own fiction, though I try to fight the urge. If some of it happens to escape the confines of my desktop and wander onto LiveJournal, I apologise in advance.

And if there was any doubt:





I lost my brother this year. He was 22. I don't want to discuss this beyond what's written here; I'm still adjusting to being an only child. I miss him.

Finally and most importantly, it should be noted that this journal is not here to be an introspective look deep into my soul. I'm on LJ because I work hard, I'm too poor to go out very often, and I need some way to blow off steam. I get enough of the real world...well...in the real world.

This free music thingie is made of awesome:



And remember, kids:
Knowledge is Power. Power Corrupts. Learn lots, and be evil!

No, really. They'll pay you. And it won't virus up your computer, or anything.